Wednesday, May 23, 2018


It's like that old saying: you don't know what you've got til it's gone.  And damn, do I miss my old buddy Garbage Disposal.

You've likely never thought about your garbage disposal, or at least, if you have, only in times when it's broken, or you shoved too many potato peels into it and it overflows. You've probably never thought, "Why do we have this weird grinder thing in our sink? What would my life be like without it? Do I really need it?"

I've only been without a garbage disposal twice - once in a building built in the 1920s that, despite being updated in most aspects, still had the original kitchen sink (sans disposal); and now, in my apartment in Korea. Apparently, according to BuzzFeed, garbage disposals are a uniquely American phenomenon.

I grew up using the garbage disposal as the place to put food trash. You didn't throw pieces of food in the garbage - that would make it stink. You threw it in the garbage disposal, turned it on, and bam, your food was whisked away to a magical world where you didn't have to worry about flies in your kitchen trash. It was a beautiful world. Where do you put eggshells? Disposal. That burned piece of steak your kid won't eat? Disposal. All those onion pieces  you picked out of your food? Yep, disposal. Piece of the plant that fell on the floor? Why not? An entire lemon? Sure! Literally anything that might possibly rot ever? YES.

As a side note, my garbage disposal was replaced about a year ago when I lived in LA, and they put one in that was BIONIC. Like legit COULD chop up an entire whole lemon, unsliced. I may or may not have found myself throwing random (food) things in it to see how hard core it was, and it ATE EVERYTHING.

Now that I'm disposal-less, LIFE IS DIFFICULT. Korea makes you sort EVERYTHING, from traditional recyclables like plastic, paper, metal and glass, to "other garbage" and "food waste." "Other garbage" DOES NOT INCLUDE food waste. So you have to scrape any leftovers into a bag specifically for food waste, which is really fucking gross. Since I'm not accustomed to leaving much leftover after eating, I'll have two tiny pieces of food to put in that stupid plastic bag and I'm not walking that shit out to the damn food waste bin on the street every time I have a meal - and you can be proud of my laziness, because that also means I'm not throwing out a different plastic bag each time I have 3 square inches of food to toss.

Where do I put it? The freezer. Don't judge, that's where everyone else puts it too. But it's pretty nasty. In order to fill up a bag enough to feel like you're not wasting energy and bags by taking it out, you have to look at eggshells, potato peels, broccoli stalks, gross pieces I cut off the chicken before I cooked it, something that got moldy in the fridge, or brown avocado pieces every time I open the freezer just to get some damned ice cubes for AT LEAST a week.

SO WHY THE HELL DON'T THEY HAVE A MAGIC FOOD GRINDER IN THE SINK?? Who in their right mind wants to put that nasty shit in a bag and have to touch it and think about it again? The garbage disposal is the kitchen embodiment of Americans sweeping problems under the rug. MY PASTA SAUCE HAS MOLD ON IT, I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT, DOWN THE DRAIN YOU GO! You seriously want me to pour moldy pasta sauce (or other semi-liquid stuff) in a BAG? That's NASSSTY.

In one of the numerous BuzzFeed articles about dumb things America does (most of them are legit, America is dumb), one of the things mentioned was a garbage disposal. Someone commented about how ridiculous they were, and I was surprisingly offended. DON'T LIKE MY TRASH-EATING SINK??  FUCK YOUUU THEN. Have fun picking your potato peelings out of the sink ONE BY ONE with your FINGERS. Eww. Hope you eat everything on your plate, because there's NOWHERE FOR IT TO GO.

No, but like seriously, I really do eat crumbs off my plate now when I'm at home so I don't have food waste to throw away. I WANT MY GARBAGE DISPOSAL BACK. I WANT MY FREEDOM TO TOSS WHATEVER I WANT DOWN THE DRAIN ALL WILLY NILLY.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018


Well this is weird. I suppose I've written things before that weren't actively funny or full of anger-induced snark, but this still feels rather out-of-character.

To counteract any seriousness later on, here are a few things that I do now that I've been in Korea for 7.5 months:

- I pretty much automatically say "joesonghamnida" when I bump into someone, so soon I'll be at my "normal" of apologizing to inanimate objects in Korean as well
- I have perfected certain very simple phrases in Korean, but have also perfected my "yeah, that's literally all I know how to say in Korean" face for when someone replies back to me in Korean assuming I'm fluent
- I wear socks every day. It's really odd.
- I learned I can't wear a pollution mask because it makes me feel like I'm suffocating so I start having a panic attack
- I also learned that not wearing a pollution mask on certain days results in a crazy headache

So yeah, I'm settling in alright. Of the 7.5 months I've been here, 6 of them were winter. That's more winter than I've ever experienced in my life, all in one year. I'm more than a little excited for springtime.

A few things have happened that are worthy of mentioning - this time last year I was on 3 different antidepressants and I was still depressed. Right now, I'm only on one, and I'm not depressed at all. To be fair, I could really use a klonopin while I teach kindergarteners, though, but I haven't murdered anyone without it yet... This is the first time in my life when I've been "default happy." I'm not really worried about anything, I don't feel like I'm just going in circles in my life anymore, and I do see human beings on a daily basis (which sometimes, though, might be a little much).

Honestly I have no idea why I'm so much happier now. I mean, realistically, not much has changed. I haven't found my "dream job," I don't have a boyfriend, I'm not doing something super exciting every day. I guess I needed a change in scenery, and a new place to explore. I really don't know what it is.

I did, however, find my home. In 36 years, I have lived in 6 cities, in 3 states and 2 countries. Friends of mine from high school continuously go back to Austin after living away for a while, saying they were homesick. I never understood what homesick really felt like. I would miss people, and miss fun times, like law school or college, but I never missed a PLACE without the people. To me, home was where certain people were, not a fixed location. Now that my friends are scattered all over the world, there really is no central location that I can "miss" for being home to my friends. Until I moved to Korea...

I now understand what homesick means. Not horrible "I need to go home right now, this place sucks" kind of homesick, but missing a place and feeling like, when I do leave where I am now, I know where my HOME is. I miss LA. I left it knowing I had maybe 2-3 friends still left in the city. It's not about people anymore, it's about the place. That's my home. Seeing it in TV shows, pictures, anything - that's my home, that's where I belong. I miss MY Starbucks, and MY grocery store, and driving with the windows down through the hills. I miss In N Out, mostly at 1am.

But yeah, probably everyone here is like "uh, okay, so you feel homesick." YEAH but that's not the point. I never knew what it felt like before! I've never had a home to be sick FOR! I lived in Austin for 14 years, but I never pined for it. I was too young to really miss Springfield. So imagine, for a second, that you never felt this way about a place for 36 years of your life, then understand the magnitude. It's epiphany-esque.

Don't worry. I'm not coming back right now. I'll be here at least another year and a half (year long contracts). I like it here, it's nice. I'm glad I came, and I'm not finished yet. But I'm also glad I discovered I have a home to go back to when I want.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018


I'm not one to bury the lead here, people. Crunchy cookies should not be a thing.

In the four months that I've lived in Korea, I've found it to be a dessert-loving society and ice cream and cakes are readily available. As are donuts, chocolate croissants, shaved ice, and various types of Korean traditional desserts. A couple of weeks ago, some friends of mine and I actually went from Baskin Robbins straight across the street to a Krispy Kreme because we have no willpower (and needed breakfast for the next day). Whoever looks at my credit card statement would just be like WHOA FATTY FAT FAT, CALM DOWN.

However, in all the places I've had dessert items, one thing has been missing: delicious chocolate chip cookies. As much as I love ice cream, brownies and donuts, nothing makes me happier than a fresh, soft, chewy chocolate chip cookie, or, if I'm SUPER lucky, a DOUBLE chocolate chip cookie. Nothing is closer to my heart than a traditional cookie (and let's be real here, my heart is equal parts chocolate, cheese, and curry).

Sometime during my first month here, I noticed that in the myriad bakeries dotting the Korean landscape, there was not a single cookie. But...WHY? Maybe I don't want to indulge in a rich slice of cake for a snack, maybe I just want a little cookie to cure the craving. But none, nowhere. I occasionally found packaged cookies but didn't buy them.

Finally after way too long, I caved and bought a package of 6 cookies. It was a Peppridge Farm type package, and the picture on it was of a fresh chocolate chip cookie with melty chocolate chips. Mmmm. Soft melty chocolate chips, soft cookie... After lunch that day, I opened the package and to my horror I discovered that the cookies were not only not SOFT, they were ACTIVELY CRUNCHY. Like HARD. The kind where you bite it and crumbs fly everywhere because it crumbles into a billion goddamned pieces since it's such a WEAK excuse for a cookie. Ugh.

I know every cookie cannot be soft and gooey and fresh out of the oven, but there's a difference between one that's "not soft" and "actively hard." A cookie should kind of bend when you're trying to take a piece, not crack under pressure. If you drop your cookie on the table, it shouldn't sound like you dropped a wooden coaster. YOU SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO KNOCK ON A HARD SURFACE WITH A COOKIE. It's just UNREASONABLE.

Why would you do that to something so delicious? SERIOUSLY WHY? It has so much potential! Just don't cook it so damn long! Does anyone in their right mind PREFER hard cookies? HAVE KOREANS EVER EATEN A DELICIOUS FRESH BAKED COOKIE? DO THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE MISSING?

When I was back in the US for my winter break, I went to Starbucks with my mom. Without thinking too much, I got a cookie, as I had many times before. Then I ate it, and was overwhelmed with joy as I enjoyed the glorious soft chewiness that I'd been missing for so long. That is a proper cookie, my friends. Hard cookies are dessert abominations and should be forbidden.

Monday, November 20, 2017


Welcome back, folks. As anticipated, the saga of the Apartment Gestapo continues to provide entertainment to the masses. If you're just joining us, I live with two humans, and one of them believes we need to clean behind the microwave weekly.

On the last episode, I told Apartment Gestapo that doing a weekly deep clean of the entire apartment was unnecessary and unreasonable, considering the fact that one of the rooms is never used, and the other one is fucking immaculately clean all the time. AG responded with a 3-page memo dictating exactly what days we're supposed to clean and pinpointed specific things to "remember" to do. It was maybe the most ridiculous shit I've ever seen.

This weekend I was accosted in the kitchen, because I can't have any peace in my own fucking apartment, and told that I was supposed to clean last weekend but I didn't, so I needed to do it this weekend. I took a quick look at the kitchen, ran my hand over the counter, and made a judgment call that cleaning was not required at this time.

Below are photographs of the area in question. This is exactly what it looked like when I was told to clean it. The images below might be DISTURBING TO SOME VIEWERS if you have any kind of cleanliness-related OCD.
This is the offending area. As you can see, it's filthy. I can barely stand to look at it. You can zoom in if you DARE.

Another view of the room in question. There's a goddamn crumb next to the fridge. I'm a fucking MONSTER to have let this sit there that long!

 This is a wide angle view of the kitchen. It looks like a goddamned murder scene. I should be arrested based on this photo alone.
This one is hard to look at. I mean, there are like 3 crumbs. I can't even believe I can show you such horror.

I have directed your attention to part of the crime scene. I am so embarrassed for you to see this, you'll never think of me as hygienic again.

I know this is hard to look at, but you must. The arrows indicate two stray pieces of uncooked ramen noodles lying carelessly on the stove. What is NOT SHOWN is the OTHER THING that was left on the stove...

THIS PIECE OF FISH. WAS ON. THE STOVE. But who makes fish? Apartment Gestapo! In fact, she made fish LAST NIGHT. So this fish has been there for nearly 24 hours. Likely on purpose to make me clean it up. So there are two ramen crumbs left by Guy Roommate, and then a chunk of day-old fish left by everyone's favorite fascist. So she was upset at how dirty SHE made the stove?

Here is a series of text messages received yesterday by both myself and Guy Roommate. As you will note, it's a pretty one-sided conversation.
10:24am: Novel begins.
Items of note: "can WE clean what WE were supposed to clean last week?"
"small meeting"

Items of note: Oooh, directed at me! "don't forget" lolol
FYI, there was NO food in the drain. I looked.
"last time...I cleaned alone guys" yes, that's correct, because it didn't need to be cleaned, so the reasonable roommates did not think it necessary to clean things that are clean.
"Let's not have a repeat of that" I can't promise that at any given time, even immediately after one of us has undertaken any type of cleaning, that you will be satisfied with the cleanliness because your standards are LIKE A GODDAMNED FANTASY WORLD

Items of note: More use of the word "we" here. Not condescending at all.
"also I didn't clean last weekend!" WE DON'T CARE BECAUSE IT DIDN'T NEED CLEANING.
"next week we are scheduled to clean again" Well, we must do everything by the schedule, mustn't we? It would be completely unreasonable to assess the situation at the time and determine if action was necessary. Or what if I spilled all over the counter on TUESDAY? Should I wait until my cleaning was scheduled?

8:06pm: Almost 10 hours have passed and she obviously had some sort of breakdown because we didn't immediately drop everything and do exactly what she wanted. I'm proud that she was able to hold it in that long. Baby steps.
"I'VE decided that each person must have their own shelf" LOLOL OKAY MEIN FUHRER
"The one with the lesser food is mine" You teach English. There are 3 shelves. Incorrect use of both the word "lesser" and lack of superlative form - "The one with the LEAST food is mine."
"Guess u can throw it out yourselves"  Ohh, full on passive-aggression, nice. And if you would just have resorted to this fucking concept earlier, "guess you can clean up after yourselves," maybe we wouldn't be receiving unsolicited text messages at all hours of the day.
"Coolio" translation: it is entirely NOT coolio.

Then, as I mentioned earlier today, she decided to tell the landlord/our boss that we weren't cleaning. Because that's what adults do. They go cry to their fucking landlord about how their roommates won't go along with their dictatorship and do something because it's "scheduled" (by her, of course). Landlord/boss has not seen our apartment. She just knows what AG has told her, so she assumes we're living in filth. Good thing I took those photos to show how completely fucking ridiculous she is. 

And if you're keeping count, only 5 more days in this prison.

Sunday, November 19, 2017


- I'm running out of socks.

- I think I'm going to lay down on the floor, it's so warm.

- No cabbage on my toast, please.

- I haven't seen a single trash can in two hours.

- Why am I the only person who needs a napkin in this whole restaurant?

- Mmm, this convenience store fried chicken is delicious.

- There's mustard on my breakfast sandwich.

- Damn, octopus for lunch again.

- I just walked through a park at night and no one tried to rob/rape/murder me.

- Can I get more of the fried chicken flavored chips please?

- This subway smells nice.

- This is the toothbrush my bank gave me for opening an account.

- I'll pick up some new makeup in the subway station when I get there.

- Why is my drink so small?

- Hmm, it looks like I'm going to need to use the MEAT SCISSORS on this piece.

- Where can I get tea that DOESN'T taste like grain?

- Good thing I brought my own toilet paper.

Monday, November 13, 2017


I'm sure that there are some other teachers out there that think these things...I hope...

1) I have become aware of exactly how beautifully long even 5 minutes can be. Between my first 4 classes, there are no breaks. Not even enough for me to go to the bathroom. Literally no minutes. So when one of the classes is a few minutes late, I enjoy every lingering second of silence and freedom. Every. Single. One.

Sometimes I wonder if any of my teachers thought this (answer: most definitely yes) - but those precious few seconds I have to myself between :05 and :10 for the last 3 hours of the day ARE MINE AND MINE ALONE.

Don't you DARE come in early. This is my private quiet time where I can be an adult for 5 minutes and have a goddamned Ding Dong because I haven't eaten for hours. If you so much as BREATHE in the direction of the door before that clock hits 10 after, I WILL END YOU.

2) Some of my students are very smart. This doesn't necessarily mean they're super great at English, just that they understand what I'm saying and can follow directions. I love these kids. They are glorious and make me happy. There is a small handful of them (maybe 4) who are dense as a goddamned pile of concrete. These kids frustrate me to no end. We will literally do the exact same thing as we did last week, and the week before, and these kids will act like they have no concept of what is happening.

Most of the kids are middle ground kids, which is perfectly acceptable. But some of them have the attention span of a goldfish - they can remember how to say "ambulance" (WTF, that word is hard!) but they cannot remember to SHUT THEIR DAMN PIE HOLES WHILE I'M TALKING.

Me: Guys, quiet down. Teacher is talking. No talking while teacher is talking.
Kids: Ok teacher... *10 seconds pass*
*talking resumes*
Me: Seriously. If I have to tell you to stop talking again, you won't get a sticker. If you don't get a sticker, then you won't get candy *audible gasp from class* YEAH. So quiet.
*10 seconds later, talking resumes*

3) The vast majority of the issues come from the kindergarten classes. The older students have their moments, but are generally reasonable and listen to me to a degree I can at least tolerate. The kindergarteners can literally not sit in chairs correctly. They're always turning around, putting their feet on someone else's chair, flailing about like an inflatable tube man at a car dealership. And they TRY. That's the part I can't understand. I see they're genuinely considering listening and obeying me when I tell them to turn around and be quiet. They don't do it to be dicks, they just have some crazy monster inside them that forces them to move AT ALL TIMES.

I have experience with this since I was, yes, once a child. We can have my parents fact-check this if you like, but I KNOW I never had a problem understanding IN ANY LANGUAGE when I was supposed to sit down and shut up. If a teacher told me to do something, I did it, immediately. And yes, this was when I was their age. Yes, I remember. I never talked when I wasn't supposed to. I never randomly got up and walked around. I never yelled. I didn't sit like a fucking gymnast twisted into a pretzel. IT IS REALLY NOT HARD TO FUNCTION AS A CHILD, I KNOW BECAUSE I DID IT.

I don't remember having some giant internal struggle to keep myself quiet and semi-still during class or other quiet times. I'm pretty sure it didn't need to be explained more than once. When an adult is talking, you are quiet. It's pretty fucking simple, yet it's an insane struggle AT LEAST once or twice a week in each class.

4) Sometimes the kids have to do "projects" - quotes are because it's basically drawing or coloring something that we told them to draw or color. There's always one kid who either cannot draw himself out of a paper bag, or one who just doesn't want to do whatever it is we're doing.

A week or so ago, the kids were coloring a project. They were supposed to draw animals. Many (most) of the animals look like they were contaminated with radioactive waste and melted into small blobs of animal parts, but there were a couple of kids who just couldn't do anything. One kid had drawn a few orange penguins and came up and told me "teacher finished!" I look at it and am like "Well, whatever. If you think you're done, you're done." As I was holding the entirely orange drawing, I was told that it "wasn't enough" because if their parents saw that, "they'd be very disappointed."

Well not in me, I didn't draw it. Get mad at your kid for really liking orange. It's not my fault they're completely untalented at drawing. This isn't a drawing class. I'm sure Sally or Elsa or T-Rex is fantastic at some other subject, so art may not be their thing. But no, I was supposed to stand over the child and force them to draw more things. If you're upset that your kid can't draw, shouldn't you take that up with the kid?? I mean the damn kid can remember "ambulance" and pronounce it correctly, why the living hell do you care about a couple of misshapen orange penguins?

5) There's also one kid that's just a straight up sociopath. Like on the pathway to becoming a serial killer. "But how do you know he's a sociopath?" Good question. One I would have asked a mere two months ago. But when you are put face-to-face with a kid that stares into your soul with dead eyes that have no emotion as he does something you explicitly told him not to do, you just know. I'd never met a sociopath before either, but it's one of those "you don't know it till you see it" things. Like he just straight up has no emotions. He doesn't even get mad when I punish him. It's pretty creepy. The whole class I'm just thinking about how I hope to god there are no small animals in his neighborhood.

Sunday, October 29, 2017


Welcome back to my Korean life. As some of you may know, I have to live in a 3 bedroom until the end of November, which of course comes with two other humans occupying the other rooms. I wasn't particularly worried - I mean, it's temporary and I have successfully lived with other humans on occasion in the past 10 years and successfully maintain a friendly relationship (or required family relationship) with the other occupants. 

This is the story of a not-so-successful roommate relationship. We'll call it "Cleaninggate."

After deciding that 9am on a Saturday was an opportune time to have a roommate meeting because I happened to get up to get some water, girl roommate took it upon herself to WAKE UP guy roommate and tell him that we needed to talk about cleaning. Like straight up just made him get out of bed when he was dead asleep. I felt bad for the poor kid, he was sick like I'd been for weeks, and now he was being dragged out of bed at 9 on a Saturday to be told he's require to clean part of the apartment every week.

The gist was that we split the apartment into 3 zones (I say we, but I really mean "she") - the kitchen, the living room (that NO ONE EVER USES), and the HALLWAY by the bathroom I share with guy roommate. She says we need to rotate cleaning every week. I say that every week is unreasonable, but she insists and I just assume if no one touched it she'll be okay with it remaining as clean as it has been.

I made the  mistake of offering to do the kitchen first, and after scrubbing the sink, counters, and stove as well as taking out the trash, I go back into my room for some TV. I get a knock on my door.

"Did you vacuum the kitchen?"

Of course I didn't fucking vacuum the kitchen, the floor is WOOD. I used a goddamn broom like a normal human.

"Well it's Korea, they vacuum wood." Good for them. I don't. And I'm slightly offended that my thorough sweeping wasn't "good enough," because I actually made an effort which isn't usually my M.O. regarding cleaning.

The next week I was scheduled to do the living room. The living room that NO ONE has sat in the entire week, so there is NOTHING to clean. I took a quick peek and saw nothing that required cleaning, so I went back to my life. 

Later that day... "Don't forget to clean the living room."

"No one used it. There's nothing to clean."

"Yes there is. The floor needs to be vacuumed, and it gets dusty." Again with the vacuuming wood. And how does one week's worth of dust harm you if you don't set foot in that goddamned room?? Also are you my mom? Wait, no. My mom isn't unreasonable and has never asked me to do something that doesn't need to be done.

A day after I didn't clean a room that was already clean, I got a note on my bedroom door about how I needed to clean the clean place. Guy roommate, who had been to the doctor twice in the past week and was on a ton of meds, who had been told to STAY HOME from the school event the day before because he was sick, also got a note on his door to clean the kitchen. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS WITH THIS SHIT?

For the next week, I avoided any part of the apartment that wasn't my room or the bathroom. I didn't need to see her and be told to clean the living room for the 50th time. I didn't cook a single thing. I got food delivered and ate it in my room with the door closed. I didn't need to be nagged to do something unnecessary.

Last night, being Saturday (designated cleaning day by the apartment emperor), she decided to talk to us about cleaning and how we weren't doing it. I finally said what I needed to say:

We are at school all week. Not one person sits on the couch the entire week. I might go into the kitchen once a day for 10 minutes, and I always clean up after myself. The hallway between my room and guy roommate's room doesn't need to be cleaned, and if it does, that should be up to the people who use the damn hallway (i.e. not you). Once a week for intense deep cleaning is unreasonable. The kitchen is IMMACULATE -
"The kitchen is so dirty! Look!" *I look around and see spotless counters, no dishes in the sink, and two ramen crumbs on the stove and one on the floor, and am genuinely confused*

I try to explain once more why cleaning up after ourselves means we don't need to bust out the Comet every 7th day.  MAYBE once a month, but that should be determined after seeing how dirty it gets in a month.

"But like no one has ever cleaned behind the microwave! It gets so dusty! And in the microwave!"

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING BEHIND THE MICROWAVE? WHO CLEANS BEHIND THE MICROWAVE? You shouldn't even MOVE the microwave unless you're throwing it away or moving it out of the damn apartment!

...and a closed microwave cannot get dusty inside. That's just not a thing that happens. If your microwave has enough exposure to the outside for dust to get in when it's closed, you need a new fucking microwave.

The peace talks ended in somewhat of a stalemate, with the one victory being that our cleaning is now once a month. I am relieved and go to bed.

I go out today to buy a big puffy winter coat, and come home to this:

Please, feel free to zoom in and read the whole thing. I'll wait.

Yep, that's 3 pages of how and when we're supposed to clean. Things that are necessary - 1) taking out trash, 2) cleaning the sink drain (goddamn no garbage disposals in Korea), 3) possibly cleaning the stove depending on how much it's been used/how dirty it is, 4) sweeping (with a BROOM) the wood floor to clean little pieces of stuff that end up on the floor.

Wiping the outside of the cupboards? Are we splashing food on the cupboards now? How messy do you think we are? I'm not making smoothies without a lid on the blender or something, jesus.

Clean the OUTSIDE and inside of the microwave? Has anyone even USED the microwave since I've lived here? I've never heard it being used. Unfortunately for myself, microwave meals are hard to come by in Korea. Also cleaning the windows in the kitchen? Once again, what are we splashing on the windows??

And the schedule going into next year? Uh, nope. The next single apartment is opening up at the end of November, I'll be out of here in a month. And I doubt guy roommate will stay any longer than he has to, which will likely be January. Not sure why you think we'll both be living in the temporary apartment in April...

But yes, a 3 page note telling us exact dates and specifically which nooks and crannies are supposed to be cleaned. Not a group consensus, but what one individual believes is necessary. I don't know who made her Apartment Gestapo, but it sure as hell wasn't by vote. Just one month until I return to solitude and my own place...