Wednesday, February 1, 2012

THIS IS WHY I'M OLD

So I haven't been dating recently (as one probably realized due to the complete and utter lack of posting), but I felt the old blog needed a humorous update. Since in 27 (now 26, ah!) days I will be turning 30, what I always determined in my mind would be the "adult" cutoff, I've decided to combine a list of 30 things that only people turning 30 in the last few years would understand.

1. I used to have a VCR where it popped out of the top, you inserted the tape, and you pushed it back down into the machine.

2. I had a portable child's record player complete with a set of Disney music records.

3. BoyzIIMen sang the slow songs at my middle school dances.

4. My idea of fun was playing Sega Genesis for hours on end with the sound off while listening to really old Mariah Carey tapes.

5. Most of my adolescence scrunchies were acceptable hair accessories.

6. I played games on computers at my dad's office that had one color (either green or orange), came on a 5inch floppy disc, and had to use a DOS prompt.

7. Once my mom and I had a conversation about why there were two German flags - one was "good Germany" and one was "bad Germany."

8. My first cassette tapes were Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson.

9. There are pictures of me playing in orange shag carpet as a baby.

10. They had cigarette dispensers (the ones with the knobs) at most restaurants when I was little.

11. My mom tried to teach me how to make a web page in 1994, but you had to use crazy code and I gave up. The only picture I managed to put up was the cover from Dumb and Dumber.

12. Schools didn't have metal detectors or cops or really any security at all.

13. When I was first introduced to Michael Jackson's music, he was still black.

14. My mom would crimp my hair in elementary school. This stopped when she burned me on the ear with the crimper.

15. Banana Republic sold t-shirts out of crates and had a broken down VW in the window.

16. Some of the stuff that Disneyland, Disneyworld, and Epcot have since torn down was still considered futuristic.

17. I couldn't get enough Reading Rainbow.

18. I had a birthday party at a roller skating rink and no one had rollerblades.

19. Mr. T did public service announcements.

20. It was a good day in school when they wheeled in the tv and let us watch 321 Contact, because apparently it was educational.

21. I read all the Babysitters Club books in order.

22. Slap bracelets and Pogs were banned at school, but I can't remember the reasons.

23. I still can sing the theme of Duck Tails.

24. I may or may not have done the Macarena at my 14th birthday.

25. It was cool to get a Hard Rock Cafe shirt wherever you went on vacation to prove you went there.

26. I started watching Saturday Night Live when George Bush I was in office, and got all my political news from it.

27. I thought it was stupid when they added the Florida Marlins and Colorado Rockies. And I still do.

28. I may or may not have gone to an XFiles convention when I was 13.

29. Clear Pepsi tasted weird but I drank it because it looked cool. I also loved the "Crystal Gravy" ad from SNL with Chris Farley.

30. I remember when Elmo joined Sesame Street.