Tuesday, December 2, 2014

WOULD I EAT IT?

My lovely friend and personal trainer has her own website and blog This Fit Blonde where she gives workout and diet tips, along with my favorite section, "Would Amanda Eat It?"  She goes through the pros and cons of certain "healthy" foods and gives a verdict at the end of whether or not she'd eat it.  Often times I don't agree, so I decided to post my own version.

Chocolate Covered Toffee

Pros: It tastes like what I imagine heaven must be, which is to say unicorns and rainbows dipped in chocolate and sprinkled with cocaine.

Cons:  It's basically 100% butter and sugar, which are the two worst substances you can put in your body behind arsenic and motor oil.  I might as well just inject it into my arteries and hips at the same time.

So would I eat it?

FUCK YES.  If motor oil tasted this good I'd consider drinking that too.  Sweet god, when I eat this it's like the sky opens and flying cat angels begin to sing as I lay on a bed of clouds and am massaged by elves.  Really sexy elves that look like Bradley Cooper and speak with a British accent.


NEXT!

Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (with the neon powdered cheese)

Pros:  This takes me back to summertime in my childhood, where I'd eat an entire box and probably play Mario Kart for the rest of the day.  That was the life, man.  But I'd eat an entire box because the damn thing was BURSTING WITH FLAVOR and full of happiness and joy.  It tastes like magic likely because it's magical that there isn't any cheese in it...

Cons:  There's the general rule that you probably shouldn't eat anything that is the color of a radioactive carrot, but they still sell it in stores so it can't be THAT bad, right?  Well the ingredients list reads like a chemistry lab, including "medium chain triglycerides" and everyone's favorite "yellow 5" and slightly less favorite "yellow 6."  Not sure where the orange is, since that is DEFINITELY not yellow you see above.

Would I eat it?

Bring on the medium chain triglycerides!  While I'm slightly fearful that the amount of this that I ate as a child might have some sort of metallic element living in my body forever, it tastes so damn good I just can't NOT have it.  When someone first introduced me to "real" mac and cheese, like the kind with melted cheese in it, I was NOT thrilled.  I've now come to love both, as cheese is glorious in its real and fake form, and the government hasn't proven this is radioactive.

So that's all for today, folks. I promise next time to put on some foods I WOULDN'T eat.  And it's a good thing I ate all my toffee last night or that picture up there would have me running to eat more right now.  But as a citizen of LA, the fact that it's raining will keep me away from most places and safe from the toffee craving for a day or so.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.